Ashes To Ashes
by Athena G
Summary: We must go on, even when we know what is to come. Short story from Fawkes' point of view. Note: HBP Spoilers.


**Disclaimer:** None of the characters or places portrayed in this story are mine. All belong to JKRowling. Not copyright infringement intended.  
**A/N:** Takes place in Dumbledore's office before 'The Cave' in Book 6. I guess you could say that when I was writing this I had a soft spot for Snape... maybe...

**_Ashes to Ashes_**

I cannot help but let out a song. The complex feelings when being consumed by fire are difficult to explain. As I see the flames burn my feathers and feel them scorch my skin I feel euphoric. Pain is absent because, in a way, a phoenix is made of fire as well as flesh; it is a part of us. Like a human in water, a phoenix cannot stay burning for long but when fire encompasses us we feel natural and free. I begin to feel elated by the thought of the approaching release from my tired, old body. The anticipation of liberation into a new, fresh, young body renews the glorious feeling the fire is creating as it slashes away at my flesh.

I feel the need to rejoice and I lift my wings high above me amidst the warm flames that are climbing ever upwards. My exhilaration soars suddenly as the blaze swells, and a pure, golden note like the music of the sun itself unintentionally escapes from the depths of my throat. I want to fly, to say goodbye to my dying form, but I fight the urge to beat these wings for the last time as the fire captures my body and neck. As my body gives fuel to the fire, the intensity of the blaze is amplified and I am cocooned in a fountain of flames as the tips of the fire flicker and vanish over my head. All I can see now is a bright spectrum of oranges and yellows flashing erratically before me.

I start to feel my whole body disintegrate as the flames become hotter. I can feel a sort of enchanted pleasure invading my very being and I have to release another note. This time the fire captures the sound and magnifies it beautifully, sending it far into the distance in every direction. As the note reverberates through the castle corridors and down into the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, my body begins to tremble. I can feel myself gently shaking beneath the flames as my physical being is devoured. Then, as abrupt as the casting of an unspoken spell, my every sensation vanishes and I collapse heavily into a pile of ash, bringing the fire down with me.

My immortal spirit remains, unsteady without my body and suspended between two worlds, always to be called back to the world with matter and substance. Within seconds I can feel my senses flood back into my spirit and I am sucked and swallowed into the ash. Through the ash I can feel the glorious blaze of the sun shining down on me through the window in the office where I live. Its fierce rays are only for me as they beat down upon me with power and intensity; the foundation of my rebirth.

I feel the ashes tremble around me; I feel myself growing stronger and larger. With an almighty force I try to lift my head and I manage to fracture the surface of the dust of my remains above me. Through this crack, streams of sunlight blaze into my eyes and give me strength. This light spurs me on and I lift my head higher. Feeling more powerful with each second that passes, I open my wings and rise up out of the ashes. I feel fresh and free in my new body and stretch as wide as I can, trying to reach into every corner of my new skin. The sun's energy is pounding against my new body and I feel it rejuvenating it. I can feel myself grow steadily larger. Beating my new, strong wings I rise high into the air singing blissful notes of a heavenly tune for the sun to hear, and I swim in the waves of warmth still spilling powerfully through the window.

Only just realising that I closed my eyes as I rose, I open them slowly. The room is bathed in a magnificent golden light and I notice for the first time that there is a new addition to the room. The man who takes care of me, Albus Dumbledore is his name, is standing opposite my perch with a long, black travelling cloak in his arms. He has a small smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. I swoop down, enjoying the sensation of being in a new, young and energetic body, and I land steadily on my perch.

"You're looking tip top, Fawkes," I hear him say happily. However, although his smile remains I can sense something melancholy in his spirit that, try as it might, cannot conceal itself. I knew what he was about to do.

I look at him furiously, trying to pry from him the reasons for his choice. He reaches his hand up and strokes the tip of my head. His fingers are gentle and soft and I find my eyes are closing at his touch. He is such a good man; his greatness I can also feel from his spirit.

"Goodbye, Fawkes."

I slowly open my small, black eyes as his soft hand leaves my feathers. I try to look at him pleadingly, although I realise that a bird, even the king of birds, is limited in facial expressions. Instead, I decide to release a low, mournful tune. I sing for over a minute as the wizard in front of me looks at me and listens. I stare back at him and see the twinkle in his eyes shine brighter than ever before; then I realise that they are moist. I watch as a single tear falls down his cheek and my song continues as I feel his suffering. After a while I decide to allow the room to be bathed in silence and my music stops.

The good-hearted wizard turns to the window, but I make a noise and he turns back.

"It is the only way to win, Fawkes." He tells me softly. "Severus knows what he has to do."

All I can do is look back at him. I can sense his fear, sense his suffering, but most of all I can sense his power and his love for decency and goodness. I watch him as he turns back to the window and walks towards it. The sun is setting and gleams of gold and red filter into the office his body will never return to. He stares out into the grounds of his school, no longer with a pretence of joviality, but now with sincere serenity. He has accepted and is at peace with his decision.

All of a sudden I can hear loud footsteps climb the staircase outside the office and a hammering on the door shortly after. Albus Dumbledore looks around calmly as Harry Potter launches himself into the room. Only after that does he respond with, "Enter."

"Well, Harry," he continued, as if this kind of interruption was completely expected, "I promised that you could come with me."

END


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